Festival weddings at Careys Manor

Tie the knot with a relaxed woodland wedding in the heart of the New Forest

Delicate floral crowns, silver birch arches, tealights twinkling as the sun goes down, and dancing under the stars. With the festival season in full swing, it’s easy to see how that laid-back festival vibe would work wonderfully for a relaxed woodland wedding.

With more celebrities like Kate Moss and Matthew McConaughey opting for bohemian-style weddings, Careys Manor hotel in the beautiful New Forest has pulled together a few ideas for couples wanting a festival wedding full of charm and personality. 

1 A woodland setting

The magical world of the New Forest is perfect for a ceremony that celebrates the beauty of nature, and Careys Manor in Brockenhurst has made the most of its fantastic location to create a fun, informal wedding in the peaceful rural setting of the Bridge Farm field next door.

The hotel’s Festival Wedding package features hay bale sofas and rustic benches sitting on faded Persian rugs, soft white fairy lights strung between white Bell tents, and firepits filled with flowers during the day and lit for toasting marshmallows over at night.

Southcoast Marquees will provide a traditional marquee with beautiful cream canvas and wooden poles, creating a relaxed, elegant space for your wedding day.

2 Dine simply on local produce

Keep things fun and simple. Careys Manor’s barbecue invites you to ‘build your own’ hot dogs – with local sausages from Chris Watson butchers, soft brioche buns, caramelised onions and a selection of sauces, served with homemade slaw, salads and dips.

Encourage guests to create their own prosecco cocktails, with fresh berries, purees and fruit liqueurs. Prosecco buckets on old oak barrels with a hand-written chalk instruction sign completes the look.

Wicker baskets filled with fresh homemade bread, cupcakes or madeleines adds to the laid-back festival food vibe.

3 Gorgeous signage & stationery

It’s a festival wedding, so quirky, creative signs are a must. Megan Hodgson from Wilson and Lionel creates bespoke signage using vintage chalk boards and beautiful flowing calligraphy, and gorgeous wedding invitations and thank you cards with rustic woodland and delicate floral designs can be designed for you by Dot England.

4 Delicate flowers

Floral sculptor Owen Lavin’s rustic style fits perfectly with a festival-style wedding. Think pink hydrangeas and wild daisies in glass jars, soft moss table dividers, white hydrangeas in wooden crates and lush green foliage wound around silver birch arches.

5 Chill out zones

Wooden crates and hay bales are perfect seats for a festival wedding. Rustic palettes can be used for low tables, and faded Persian rugs add comfort and vintage chic. Firepits will keep guests toasty as the evening draws in, and flickering tea light chandeliers can take over when the sun dips below the treeline.

6 Glamping

It really wouldn’t be a festival without tents, and from a bridal suite for two to a Bell tent village, South Coast Glamping provides beautiful Bell tents complete with fluffy pillows, tea light chandeliers, and chic wooden furniture for a magical night under the stars.

7 Photography

Your wedding photography should be as relaxed as your day, so look for a photographer who will reflect your magical, informal day. 

8 What if it rains?

Now, that would really add to the festival vibe! Make the most of a rainy wedding day with fun floral umbrellas and comfy wellies in pretty prints to ramp up your festival style.

To find out more about the Festival Wedding package, visit https://www.careysmanor.com/Field_Wedding_Package.html

Find out more about Careys Manor 

Why you do want it to rain on your wedding day!

Wedding considerations from Careys Manor Hotel in the New Forest

As you get ready for your big day with your family sat around you, sip your sweet champagne and look outside the window. There is always that huge fear on your wedding day that the heavens will open and your photos, wedding dress, groomsmen suits and worst of all your hair will be ruined and your big day will be remembered for the wrong reasons.

According to the Hindu religion it is symbolically said that if it rains on your wedding day it will cleanse and purify your relationship to prepare you for the rest of your lives together, so we believe that rain on your wedding day could actually be a blessing.

Here are 3 more reasons why you want rain on your wedding day:

1. Rain makes for unique wedding photos

Everyone hopes and prays for blue skies and beaming sunshine to make your wedding photos look beautiful. Step outside after the rain has fallen and inhale the fresh, clean air. With a little touch of creativity you could have some memorable wedding photos.

2. Rain keeps your wedding flowers fresh

Keeping your flowers hydrated is important so they don’t wilt. On a blistering hot day your flowers will dry out and may not last if you wanted to keep them on display at home afterwards, let alone the whole evening.

3. It’s soothing

There is nothing more heart-warming than the sound of the pitter patter of the rain on a cosy day in. Picture walking down the aisle as you prepare to say your “I do’s” and listen to soft sound of the comforting rain against the window glass in the background, whilst in the warmth of a cosy country manor house hotel surrounded by your family.

So don’t fret or worry about rain on your wedding day. Just remember that not only is it supposed to be good luck but ultimately your special day is about yourself and your significant other, whatever the weather.

Join us on the 13th November for our Wedding Open Day.

For more information on our wedding packages, call our wedding Coordinator Françoise Gysemans on 01590 625204.

Careys Manor Hotel, Brockenhurst

How to plan the perfect small wedding.

Intimate and romantic weddings with your closest friends and loved ones in the heart of the New Forest.

Romantic and unforgettable

There is something very special about a small wedding; the intimacy of spending your big day with your closest friends and loved ones. A small wedding allows you to freely choose who you would like to share it with,  with romance, intimacy and a level of privacy that is undeniable.

Share your vision of a small wedding

Once your decision for a small wedding is made, be sure to share your vision and ‘big’ day dreams with your friends and family, so they can understand what is most important to you. The more open and firm you are about your plans, the sooner they understand and support your decision, whether they agree or not.

Discuss the guest list with your family and friends, as they will inevitably enquire and have an opinion about it, gather their thoughts and suggestions, but remember at the end of the day, it is your wedding and it is okay not to invite EVERYONE. Make the decision at the start to only invite your nearest and dearest - and be firm - distant relatives, an unknown 'plus one' or an acquaintance should not be on the list.

Budget carefully

Be sure to have a budget. A smaller wedding isn't necessarily cheaper, plan your spending carefully and keep track of all spending along the way. There are lots of FREE wedding planning guides available online. On the other hand, with fewer guests, there may be extra budget, and you may want to splurge on other aspects of the day rather than guests.

Chose your venue wisely

A small venue means fewer people. Chose a wedding venue to fit the size of the intimate wedding you would like to choose. The Montagu Arms Hotel in the heart of the New Forest provides the perfect elegant setting for your intimate wedding for up to 30 guests.

Unlike larger groups where you need to cater to most tastes, with a smaller group of guests you can afford to be a little more extravagant with your menu choice for your wedding breakfast. Choose a menu full of the tastes of the New Forest and really whet the appetites of your guests.

Visit The Montagu Arms Hotel on their open day on 13 November 2016.

By The Montagu Arms Hotel.

For more information about planning your intimate wedding at The Montagu Arms Hotel, call 01590 612324.

Weddings at Careys Manor Hotel, Brockenhurst.

A wedding ceremony and wedding reception venue in the heart of the New Forest

Careys Manor is set in the leafy dream like world of the New Forest and provides the idyllic setting for a sophisticated and memorable wedding. The romantic Victorian country house hotel offers a delightful blend of traditional English charm and character with contemporary elegance.

Delicious cuisine, excellent service and quintessentially English gardens combine to make the perfect wedding. This luxury wedding venue is licensed for civil ceremonies for up to 100 guests and can accommodate up to 150 guests for your evening reception. 

Holding only one wedding a day, the team at Careys Manor ensure their undivided attention is on you and your guests, making sure your day is one to remember and cherish forever. With facilities to cater for all sizes, the Manor House lends itself perfectly to the classic glamour so often only dreamt of by many couples.

Dedicated wedding co-ordinator Françoise Gysemans has over 16 years of experience and is on hand to ensure your day is planned to the final details. To arrange a viewing or request more details please contact Françoise on 01590 625204 or enquire online.

Careys Manor, perfect venue for both Wedding Ceremony and Wedding Reception

Getting married outdoors has, over the years, been the dream of many brides but only now is this unique wedding venue possible in The New Forest. One of only a few Hampshire hotels licensed for outdoor wedding ceremonies, the Cedar Garden can accommodate up to 100 guests and is the perfect complement to your manor house wedding. The pavilion was built especially for weddings providing an ambient setting for a unique hotel wedding ceremony or celebration, both large and small.

Depending on your chosen wedding package there is also the Cedar Suite, Lounge and the Beech Room readily available.

The Cedar Suite

The elegant and luxuriously stylish Cedar Suite has a private entrance, large ornate windows offering an abundance of natural light and French doors opening onto a secluded walled garden. The Cedar Suite boasts its own servicing bar and adjacent quiet room. Holding up to 100 people seated for your civil ceremony, 80 people for your wedding breakfast and 150 people for your evening reception, the Cedar Suite provides the perfect setting for your wedding day.

The Cedar Garden

Amidst the tranquil manicured grounds of Careys Manor Hotel & SenSpa lies the hidden gem of the beautiful Cedar Garden, the perfect choice for an outside wedding ceremony. Surround yourself in our quintessential English walled garden with its evocative colours, floral scents and the romantic backdrop of the traditional handmade oak pavilion. The Cedar Garden can accommodate up to 100 people seated and is one of only a few venues in Hampshire licensed for outdoor wedding ceremonies and civil partnerships.

The Lounge

Located in the original Manor section of the hotel, the Lounge is full of traditional English character. Features include a high wood panelled ceiling with original oak beams and exposed brickwork. Along with the impressive Inglenook fireplace, the Lounge is a warm, relaxing haven, rich with natural textures and a relaxing ambiance, holding up to 100 people (60 seated) for your civil ceremony.

The Beech Room

The Beech room is perfect for a more intimate wedding. Licensed for up to 50 people seated for your civil ceremony the room benefits from an abundance of natural daylight and direct access to the Lounge.

Wedding Packages designed to suit your needs at Careys Manor Hotel

Careys Manor offer a range of wedding packages; from all inclusive packages providing everything you need for your special day to a Vintage Afternoon Tea theme.

Careys Manor is also the ideal venue for a winter wedding. Enjoy roaring open fires and mulled wine in a comfortable and romantic atmosphere. Find out about fantastic offers for weddings at Careys Manor.

For more information about Careys Manor wedding packages, call Françoise Gysemans on 01590 624467.

October 2019

A financial checklist for your wedding

Tax and pensions are probably the least romantic reasons for getting married, but tying the knot does bring financial advantages!

It has been said that getting married is the greatest tax planning strategy ever invented! Before you get married, discuss each other’s financial circumstances and the issues that you may face together. Here is a checklist for consideration alongside your wedding plans…

1) Update your Will

2) Property ownership

3) Wedding gifts can be free from Inheritance Tax

Wedding or civil partnership ceremony gifts are exempt from IHT, subject to certain limits:

- parents can each give £5,000 in cash or gifts

- grandparents & great grandparents can each give cash or gifts worth £2,500

- anyone else can give £1,000 in cash or gifts

The gift has to be made or promised on or shortly before the date of the wedding. If the ceremony is called off and the gift is still bestowed - or if the gift is given after the ceremony without having promised it first - this exemption won't apply.

4) Distribute wealth wisely

Married couples should cut their overall tax bill by distributing their wealth between them so that all personal allowances (CGT, IHT, income tax and ISAs) are used up and tax is paid at the lowest possible marginal rate.

Marriage Allowance lets you transfer £1,190 of your Personal Allowance to your husband, wife or civil partner - if they earn more than you. That is a fixed amount. The spouse making the transfer must have unused personal allowance, i.e. income less than £11,850 p.a. (2018/19) plus any other tax deduction allowances. This cannot be claimed when the receiving spouse is liable to tax at higher rates. Both spouses must be born after 6 April 1935.

Married Couples Allowance – if either spouse was born before 6 April 1935 there is an additional allowance available of between £336 and £869.50 a year as a reduction in tax. That can be claimed by either spouse. 

5) Review your pension

New Forest Tax Accountants have extensive experience in all areas of tax and accountancy. They can also recommend excellent local solicitors and IFAs. Book your free initial consultation today.

© New Forest Tax Accountants 2019.

This communication is intended to provide general guidance on matters of interest and you should not act or refrain from acting upon any information contained in it without seeking appropriate professional advice.

Dementia Action Week 2019 - what tangible actions will you take?

Starts Monday 20 May nationally and in Lymington

Initiated nationwide by the Alzheimer’s Society and supported locally in Lymington by Lymington Dementia Action Group

Dementia Action Week is a national week of action to improve the lives of those with dementia  

There are 850,000 people in the UK who are affected by dementia - for which there is still no cure.  This does not just affect the elderly:  40,000 people in the UK under the age of 65 suffer from early onset dementia. It is believed that by 2051 the number of people who have dementia in the UK will have risen to 2 million (stats from Alzheimer’s Society).

If you want to understand more about the different types of dementia, of which Alzheimer’s is by far the most common, this article on the Alzheimer's Society website will help.

Awful loneliness and isolation can descend not only on the person with dementia but also on the “carer” – think of the long term husband or wife who is effectively losing the company of his or her partner and at the same time losing their friends who don’t know what to say or do... so they kind of disappear.  Think of the previously happy social life, like the regular bridge sessions, gone - they have to leave as the person with dementia becomes increasingly confused. The kind company of others can become something desperately wished for.

Dementia Action Week 2019 – Ask us Anything!

Previously known as Dementia Awareness Week, Dementia Action Week takes place across the whole country from 20 to 26 May. The goal of Dementia Action Week is to encourage people to do more than just be dementia aware. Everybody is being asked to take tangible “action” to improve the lives of those affected by dementia, with the ultimate aim to create a dementia-friendly UK in which people with dementia do not feel excluded.

In fact, during this Dementia Action Week, Alzheimer’s Society is encouraging everyone to take action by starting a conversation. 

Whether it’s calling a relative with dementia or visiting a neighbour, it’s time to start talking.

Use the hashtag #askusanything

Many of us worry about ‘saying the wrong thing' to someone with dementia, yet a friendly face or listening ear can make the world of difference.  And as you'll see, especially from the children who seem to know this naturally, there aren't many things you can't ask a person with dementia.

So right now start using the hashtag #askusanything! 

A Daily Tangible Action for Dementia Action Week

We are proposing that everybody joins and commits to takes one tangible “action” each day this week to help people with dementia and their carers.

If you follow all or even some of these suggestions, by the end of the week we hope you will have the confidence to start a conversation with somebody who has dementia.

Monday – See how the kids do it!

All it takes is a conversation..

A child sees the person for who they are. Watch what happens when children interview people with dementia.  

Tuesday – Seek information!

Call in at one of the two information points in Lymington especially set up for Dementia Action Week.

These are at Lymington Community Centre (just inside the main entrance) and Lymington Library, with volunteers from the Lymington Dementia Action Group present most mornings and afternoons to answer questions and help you find the information you need.

Or if that won’t work for you please click this link to our newly updated online “Dementia Directory” for Lymington  – and think whether you know anybody for whom this list of contacts might be useful.

Wednesday: Watch My Dementia Choir on i-player

Music is incredibly beneficial for many people with dementia, both listening to it and taking part in it.  And especially singing! And even more so as part of a group. And more so again with purpose – the performance!

For everybody who's been watching My Dementia Choir with Vicky McClure on TV, the fact that so many younger people also have dementia will have become very apparent.

If you haven't already seen it do watch the two moving episodes of My Dementia Choir:

Watch Part One of Two of My Dementia Choir with Vicky McClure  

Watch Part Two of Two of My Dementia Choir with Vicky McClure

And also, watch Vicky McClure talking about why the choir

Thursday:  Listen to New Forest Hospital Radio

http://www.nfhradio.org.uk/

Who has actually listened to New Forest Hospital Radio, provided by the wonderful volunteers who make this fabulous facility happen, daily?

If you look at their website you’ll see also a link to the current week’s programme guide which is displayed helpfully in full. 

And then remember My Dementia Choir. 

This radio station plays the kind of music people with dementia will recognise and relate to from their memories of long ago, the songs to which they may well know all the words too.

Listen to it online, download podcasts. And most of all - spread the word!

Friday: Check out the activities available locally for people with dementia

Now check out the regular activities available locally for people with dementia, including the music group “Together in Harmony” with music therapist Frances Attwood – and spread the word about those too!

Saturday:  Book a Dementia Friends Session in Lymington

Book now to attend one of the three upcoming one hour Dementia Friends sessions at Linden House, New Street on 30 May, 27 June or 25 July.  This will be run by Dementia Champion and Admiral Nurse Tracy Logan

Click here now and do it! 

This is a really quick and rewarding way to gain a better understanding of what it's like to have dementia. One hour spent gaining this knowledge can give you the confidence to start a conversation with somebody with dementia, which in turn has the potential to bring some joy to their day - a small investment indeed.

Sessions take place monthly at Linden House, New Street, Lymington on the last Thursday of the month thus:  30 May, 27 June and 25 July are the next 3 dates, 6pm start.

Sunday – Go on do it!  Start a conversation!

It can be difficult to know what to say. But Alzheimer’s Society teamed up with people affected by dementia to give you the best tips for getting a conversation started:

‘Talk to me, smile, be a little patient and give me time to reply.’

'A simple ‘hello’, ask about the weather, anything that you feel comfortable with.’

'Just be yourself and yes, we will make mistakes but it’s ok to laugh along with us.’

'I love it when people ask me questions. It gives me an opportunity to show that people with dementia exist, that we can still contribute to things going on around us and that life goes on. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like me again'

'Just don’t ask if I remember.’

'Don’t be afraid. All it takes is a conversation to see we’re still us.’

If you’re still unsure on how to get the conversation started, Alzheimer's Association can help. Read their Ask Us Anything booklet for more tips and advice. You don’t have to be nervous saying the wrong thing either - there are tips on what not to say to someone with dementia on their blog.

Even in the later stages of dementia when having a conversation might become difficult, keeping in touch means a lot. Seeing friends and loved ones brings feelings of happiness and comfort, and the ‘emotional memory’ remains with people living with dementia long after the memory of the visit may have gone.

Please see also Dementia Action Week in the Events Calendar  

Contact Lymington Dementia Action Group if you can help with the mission to make Lymington ever more dementia friendly.

Dementia Action Week 17-23 May 2021 

Lymington Dementia Action Group round up of some of the support available locally 

Please refer to this "Dementia Directory" - a checklist of useful contacts for the Lymington and New Forest area. We put this together some time ago but much of it will still be up to date.

Dementia Action Week is a national week of action to improve the lives of those with dementia  

The goal of Dementia Action Week is to encourage people to do more than just be dementia aware. Everybody is being asked to take tangible “action” to improve the lives of those affected by dementia, with the ultimate aim to create a dementia-friendly UK in which people with dementia do not feel excluded.

This year especially, Dementia Action Week is about taking action to improve the social care system. Coronavirus has exposed the fact that families facing dementia have been failed by a social care system that is inadequate, hard to access, costly and unfair. People with dementia have been worst hit by the pandemic, accounting for a quarter of all coronavirus deaths in the UK.

There are 850,000 people in the UK who are affected by dementia - for which there is still no cure.  This does not just affect the elderly:  40,000 people in the UK under the age of 65 suffer from early-onset dementia. It is believed that by 2051 the number of people who have dementia in the UK will have risen to 2 million (stats from Alzheimer’s Society).

If you want to understand more about the different types of dementia, of which Alzheimer’s is by far the most common, this article on the Alzheimer's Society website will help.

Awful loneliness and isolation can descend not only on the person with dementia but also on the “carer” – think of the long term husband or wife who is effectively losing the company of his or her partner and at the same time losing their friends who don’t know what to say or do... so they kind of disappear.  Think of the previously happy social life, like the regular bridge sessions, gone - they have to leave as the person with dementia becomes increasingly confused. The kind company of others can become something desperately wished for.

Whether it’s calling a relative with dementia or visiting a neighbour, it’s time to start talking.  And there are activities and other actions which can help.

Oakhaven Wellbeing course for people with early stage dementia

Hot off the press, this is exciting news of a 14 week course for people with early stage dementia,starting on Tuesday 6^th July.

It will be run at the Coates Centre by Memory Works  (click link to their website)
We shall bring more information on this in due course but meanwhile, if you'd like to know more now please contact Memory Works via their website or call Elena on 07590 503210.

Art Dementia New Forest - group re-starting in September at Milford, and to be confirmed in Lymington 

Annabel Collenette reports that she will be restarting her art group in Milford on Monday 6th September all being well. She hopes to start again in Lymington too.

For further information regarding the Art Groups contact Annabel Collenette on 01590 679838 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. for Milford and Lymington.

Contact Gilda Newsham on 01425 473777 for Ringwood. All places have to be booked; Art Dementia New Forest is a Registered Charity No 1178609.

Dementia Friendly Hampshire - online sessions throughout Dementia Action Week

Jane Ward of Dementia Friendly Hampshire reports: "As part of Dementia Action Week next week I would normally be found out and about in various parts of the county with my banner and a bag full of leaflets trying to connect with as many people affected by dementia as possible to help link with information and support, to chat about what they feel would make the best dementia friendly community for them and what we are doing to change things. Obviously this is still not really possible, even though we can go out more and even more venues will open up next week, it would be irresponsible to encourage the extra contact a normal Action Week would involve, so I am attempting to move these sessions online. I have set up several zoom sessions throughout the week where I will be online for an hour and anyone can join me for a chat in much the same way they could if they met me at the local shopping mall. There is no need to book, and I will not collect any personal data. If they wish to join without video that is fine too.

The sessions are listed below with the links. I would be grateful if you could share these with anyone who may be interested in dropping in for a chat.

Dementia Action Week Drop-in session

Tuesday, May 18⋅12:30 – 1:30pm

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81268762987?pwd=WkZPSEJyOTRBSysyT2NIeXhDQVZlZz09

Meeting ID: 812 6876 2987
Passcode: 866981

Dementia Action Week Drop-in session 2

Thursday, May 20⋅3:30 – 4:30pm

Location:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83674086405?pwd=bnRvY1NGSlBDTnVRdlNEaytMbEhtdz09

Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83674086405?pwd=bnRvY1NGSlBDTnVRdlNEaytMbEhtdz09 Meeting ID: 836 7408 6405 Passcode: 881515

Dementia Action Week Drop-in session 3

Friday, May 21⋅11:30am – 12:30pm

Location:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87587693350?pwd=WUtzY3N2V2N0TmNqNkFJYVBpVXkzQT09

Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87587693350?pwd=WUtzY3N2V2N0TmNqNkFJYVBpVXkzQT09 Meeting ID: 875 8769 3350 Passcode: 007850

MHA (Methodist Homes Association) Communities New Forest 

This award-winning charity helps improve the lives of over 18,000 older people across the UK every day. As the only national care provider to offer connected care and support through specialist care homes, thriving retirement living and vibrant community groups, our organisation is a leading light in later life care.

Katie Rickman of MHA says:

We are celebrating this year’s Dementia Awareness week with an Open Day at the Ringwood Community Allotment on Wednesday 19^th May. 

Bookings can be made via email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by telephoning Sue or Valerie on 07593 299405

MHA Communities New Forest www.mha.org.uk
Tel: 01425 476142
Mobile: 07483 112138

Worried about dementia? Useful contact for Lymington New Forest area

This information has been prepared by Lymington Dementia Action Group to help those affected by dementia in the Lymington and New Forest area. Please use the links provided, for more detailed information as relevant. There are also Dementia Information Points where you can find printed copies of this information: in local GP surgeries, Lymington New Forest Hospital, Waitrose, Tesco, St Barbe Museum & Art Gallery, and Lymington Community Centre.

Lymington Dementia Action Group is a local group of volunteers which can provide access to advice, support, companionship and activities, for people with dementia and their carers. If you would like someone to assist you to find the information you need please email in the first instance: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Dementia Diagnosis – don’t know where to turn?

Useful starting points

Alzheimer’s Society, national and local advice and information, www.alzheimers.org.uk ‘The Dementia Guide’, ‘Caring for a person with dementia’, basic guides by Alzheimer’s Society The dementia support worker for the New Forest area is Carol Whittaker: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. 07860 912272

Andover Mind Hampshire County Council's carer support and dementia advice service: 01264 332297 or email:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  website: www.andovermind.org.uk                                                                         

Dementia UK Admiral Nurses, advice, information and support: www.dementiauk.org

National Helpline 0800 888 6678 www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing

Dementia Friendly Hampshire an independent charity working to make Hampshire a county where people affected by dementia can live a good life: www.dementiafriendlyhampshire.org.uk

Dementia Support Hampshire and Isle of Wight Supporting local people living with dementia: www.mydementiasupport.org

Dr Jennifer Bute, former GP who herself has dementia, www.gloriousopportunity.org/ very practical tips on how to live with dementia, ‘Dementia from the Inside’ book with Louise Morse

Lymington.com for information on local events and links to help and support: www.lymington.com

Advice and guidance

Silverlinks, free home visits for information and advice to older people: contact Celia on 07825 168364 This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

HOPe (Helping Older People New Forest) help with benefits, money, advice, consumer advice, care at home, all services for older people: www.hopenewforest.org 9 Mallard Buildings, Station Road, New Milton, BH25 6HY   01425 629009          

Lymington Dementia Action Group, a group of volunteers who signpost and organise local events, contact Lindsay at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.      

New Forest Disability Information Service, information and advice to those of any age affected by disability, www.newforestdis.org.uk, 01425 628750

Legal and financial

Citizens Advice Bureau Local office in Lymington Town Hall www.newforestcab.org.uk 0808 278 7860

Attendance allowance, Department of Work and Pensions, help with care: www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Eligibility for 25% reduction in Council Tax, eligibility for discount with a diagnosis of dementia: New Forest District Council, www.newforest.gov.uk/article/530/Council-Tax-Discounts 02380 285000

Age Concern New Forest, independent local charity providing support for older people, their families and carers: 02380 841199 www.ageconcernnewforest.org.uk

Allied Services Trust, Deborah Pardoe, an affordable charity assisting with planning, provision and preparation for possible mental incapacity, wills and power of attorney, www.alliedservicestrust.org

Beneficial activities and therapy

Coates Centre Dementia Support Group, Informal coffee mornings 10.30 Thursday mornings, The Oakhaven Wellbeing Centre in the Coates Centre, Oakhaven Hospice, Lower Pennington Lane, SO41 8ZZ contact Cynthia on 07894 050864

Dementia Support and Activities Group Tuesday mornings 9.30 – 12.30 United Reform Church, Lymington High Street contact Cheryl on 01590 671085

Dementia Adventure, respite holidays for people with dementia and carers, dementiaadventure.co.uk

Art Dementia New Forest, painting with support and help, Annabel, 01590 679838 or 07855 985375, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

spudWORKS Arts and education charity Station Road, Sway SO41 6BA 01590 682260

hART (Hampshire Art for Recreation and Therapy), creative therapeutic and recreational activities to support mental health and well-being, www.hart.works 07999 492808

Coda Music and Arts Trust offering creative activities to support mental health and well being.

01425 276161 www.coda.org.uk   This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Memoryworks Cognitive stimulation therapy www.memoryworks.org.uk

contact Elena Prieto-Ruiz on 07590 503210

New Forest Live at Home events, activities and outings to enable older people to maintain their independence and live more fulfilled lives: 07843 112138 This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Health

Care Navigators Supporting those aged 65+ based at each doctor’s surgery

Princess Royal Trust for Carers Information and advice for carers including setting up an emergency care plan https://carercentre.com 01264 835246

Hampshire Adult Services, www.hants.gov.uk/socialcareandhealth/adultsocialcare/contact

Practical support  

Blue Lamp Trust, Bobby Scheme, free home security visits, smoke alarms and advice, www.bluelamptrust.org.uk

TIB Services, retired police officers undertaking decorating, disabled adaptations and general indoor and outdoor maintenance tasks, 0800 2550255

Take a Break for carers, up to 3 hours a week care relief, accessed through adult services:

www.hants.gov.uk/socialcareandhealth/adultsocialcare/respite-break

Day Care Respite, following assessment by Hampshire adult services: www.hants.gov.uk/socialcareandhealth/adultsocialcare Solent Mead, Lymington 01590 674687 or self-funding, Osborne Lodge, New Milton, 01425 618248 Gore Grange, New Milton, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.,

Message in a bottle, keep personal and medical details on a standard form and in a common location for emergency services, free bottle supplied from doctors, pharmacies.

‘This is me’, a way of letting medical and social care staff know more about the person who has dementia, free forms available from Alzheimer’s Society.

Herbert Protocol, form used to find missing persons (best completed in advance!) hantsar.org/herbert-protocol/

Emergency Care Plan from Princess Royal Trust for Carers (see above)

Please help us to keep this page up to date by letting us know if you discover information to be incorrect: email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Reflection on my mum’s Alzheimer’s Years

Tribute to Colten Care who cared for her through later stages and end of life

And to FW House & Sons who made the goodbye very special 

I have written on these pages before about my own mother and last month the final stage of Alzheimer’s finally ended for her after 14 years - despite a doctor friend’s long ago prognosis that once diagnosed she would live for a maximum of 3 years longer.

For reasons we cannot fathom, her will to live was stronger than the disease, but my personal theory is that she was at some level enjoying not just the comfy bed (she always loved a lie in) but much more importantly the cosseting and caring of all the many wonderful people who looked after her over the total of 6 years living in a Colten Care specialist dementia care home.

Release - and a flood of memories

Immediately after my mother drew her last breath a few short weeks ago, her face seemed to relax as though finally she had been released.

In the following days my sisters and I were flooded with beautiful words sent in texts, emails, letters and cards by family and friends from near and far. All the messages contained similar themes and words such as: “She was a such a very proper lady and the sort they don’t make any more. Always elegant and graceful as well as utterly charming.”

And during the preparations for her funeral we pored through photographs of Mum from our growing up days and before, and stirred up many more of our individual memories.

It definitely felt to me as though we had been released as well, freed to remember her again as our beautiful, capable and clever Mum of whom we were always so proud.

As must be the case for so many families when the end comes for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, able once more to remember the real person.

The challenge of Alzheimer’s

The final 14 years of Mum’s life were marked by her steady deterioration, through the inexorable stages of the cruel illness of Alzheimer’s.  A far cry from the happy, fulfilled nursing sister of her times.

The evidence of short term memory loss began as it often does with repetition of the same question, and looking back on it my own insistence on replying with “Mum you just said that” reminds me of just how ignorant I was then.

As her confusion increased she learned techniques to pretend she was ok. For a while she could fool a lot of people. But eventually the pleasures she and my father had lately enjoyed like playing bridge became challenging, he grew more isolated and lonely, she more frustrated, and everything harder for us all - both to understand and to know what to do for the best. Even long after diagnosis it was also difficult to find tangible advice or support for Dad who by this time was doing everything he could independently to keep Mum safe, clean and fed, but in the process I am convinced hastening his own death.

Relative tranquility thanks to Colten Care

Eventually, thanks to Colten Care, we found Mum a really top quality specialist dementia care home: first in Winchester and then in Lymington.

Thanks to our parents’ lifelong habits of saving and thrift this was affordable. And there she was cosseted and cocooned by the most amazingly compassionate and understanding team of people you could ever hope to find.  And immediately she seemed to be more relaxed, almost happy at times.

They love their residents almost as their own family, calming their confusions, helping them to feel more “normal” in their prisons in their brains.

Communicating in the moment is key

In the middle stages of Alzheimer’s the person often believes him or herself to be living back in his or her younger life. And by this time Mum was spending a lot of time in an imaginary world of her own which frequently included her own parents and other names we didn’t recognise.

In a good dementia care home the wonderful carers know how to communicate in the moment. They understand how to talk and behave as if they are right inside the imagined lives. Those lives are real to those who are living them. It can get confusing for anybody. But that ability provides reassurance and instils calm.

In fact we were fortunate that Mum was relatively easy to care for, she never became aggressive as some do with Alzheimer’s. Just occasional expletives were uttered, which rather amusingly included words she’d never allow us to say when growing up and in fact, we were surprised that she even knew some of them.

In the main and to the end she managed to remain her dignified and well mannered self.

And there were some upsides for Mum too: for example she always loved her bed. Throughout her married life Dad would have her rising way too early for her natural flow. In her final years she could lie in - her watchful carers could see she needed a little longer. And whilst physically she always remained well, gradually she became too tired to benefit from being hoisted into her chair and into the lounge. So then she would more frequently spend whole days in her peaceful airy room with her favourite music playing, visited often by the carers and tended to with great tenderness.

End of life, comforted by caring staff at Linden House

In the end our mum slipped peacefully away over a period of a few days. This was in no small way attributable to the constant skill and attention of the wonderful team of nurses and carers.

I must stress however that the staff were also ready for all eventualities including the possibility as happens in some cases, where the final stage includes physical distress.

At Mum’s funeral I thanked and want to mention again by name here: Bella, Anna, Kirsty and Chelsea, all of whom attended from Linden House, and asked them to go back and tell the rest of the wonderful team how much we appreciated every single one of them.

I believe it’s because of these people that Mum didn’t want to let go of life, rather wanted to hang on and get every last drop of it. We have rarely heard of anyone else who lived so long with Alzheimer’s.

Tribute to FW House & Sons, Lymington

Belatedly, after the funeral, I realised how little we consider the perspective of the funeral directors, given that mostly from the moment we make contact with them we're also dealing with grief and emotion.

The National Association of Funeral Directors says:  "The role of a funeral director is a broad service encompassing practical organisation, support and guidance to the family and liaison with a wide range of other organisations and services to ensure the funeral is properly arranged."

But that simply does not do justice to the breadth and depth of the skills needed by a good funeral director. And in that context I'd like finally to pay tribute too to Nigel and Veronica at FW House & Sons, independent and brilliant Lymington funeral directors who are not only deeply experienced and professional but also the most compassionate and caring people one could ever hope to find, always with a way of seeing the humorous side too which is absolutely vital.

Lymington Dementia Action Group

Prompted by Dad’s suffering much later on I became a member of the then newly forming Dementia Action group here in Lymington, one of many volunteer groups around the country which tries to promote Dementia Friendly behaviour in the community as well as providing information, support and even fun, for people with dementia and their carers.

Other than my experience of and recommendations for Linden House, these are the key things I have learned

1. People with Alzheimer’s are ill. It’s just a strange kind of illness which takes place mostly inside their heads, and they are confused and frightened by all sorts of everyday things we can’t see or feel. If they’re alone they may even be lost. We should try not to turn away, everything kind we can contribute will help.

2. We shouldn’t question or challenge what the person says (especially not like me at the beginning with “mum you just said that”) – we should try and climb in there in our heads, join their story and go with their flow.

3. We should all try really hard to do that whenever we get the opportunity, anywhere, ever. It all helps that person feel a little bit better.

If you are moved by this article to get involved with Lymington Dementia Action Group or to contact Colten Care you are welcome to do so via This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Thank you for reading this personal story.

7 things you didn't know about dementia

Set to be the biggest killer of the 21st century - yet research is underfunded

Many families are affected by dementia. The condition is set to become the biggest killer of the 21st century - someone develops dementia every three minutes, and too many are facing it alone without adequate support. Here are some facts and figures about dementia:

1. Dementia is an umbrella term

Dementia describes different brain disorders that trigger a loss of brain function. These conditions are all usually progressive and eventually severe. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia, affecting 62 per cent of those diagnosed. Other types of dementia include; vascular dementia affecting 17 per cent of those diagnosed, mixed dementia affecting 10 per cent of those diagnosed, frontotemporal dementia and dementia with Lewy bodies.

Symptoms of dementia include memory loss, confusion and problems with speech and understanding. Dementia is a terminal condition.

2. Dementia isn’t a natural part of ageing

Dementia doesn’t care who you are and can affect anyone. It’s caused by diseases of the brain which includes Alzheimer’s disease. Dementia affects everyone differently. Someone with the condition might experience a number of changes including problems with memory, thinking, concentration and language. It mainly affects people over the age of 65 however there are more than 42,000 people under 65 living with dementia in the UK.

3. Dementia is a progressive condition but with support people can continue to live well

Dementia is progressive, meaning that symptoms gradually get worse. However, many people living with dementia lead active and fulfilling lives for many years. There are many ways to help support someone living with dementia from becoming a Dementia Friend, gaining a better understanding of the condition, to volunteering with Alzheimer’s Society’s Side by Side service. The charity is for everyone affected by dementia, to find out more about local services or volunteering visit alzheimers.org.uk

4. By 2021, one million of us will have dementia

There are 850,000 people in the UK who have a form of dementia, of which an estimated 3,800 live in the New Forest, 19,000 in Hampshire. Dementia has replaced heart diseases as the leading cause of death in England and Wales, accounting for 11.6% of all deaths registered in 2015, according to the Office for National Statistics. Dementia is set to be the 21st century’s biggest killer, with someone developing it every three minutes.

Only around 50% of those with dementia in Hampshire have been diagnosed - so there are lots of people with dementia who are not getting support and treatment that could help them and their families.

5. There is no cure for dementia

Delaying the onset of dementia by five years would halve the number of deaths from the condition, saving 30,000 lives a year. Of the top 10 causes of death, dementia is the only one we can’t prevent, cure or even slow down, but funding of dementia research is still far too low. Research is continuing into new drugs, vaccines and other medical treatments. Drugs do exist for Alzheimer’s disease which can improve symptoms or temporarily slow progression, in some people. There are no licensed drug treatments for other forms of dementia.

6. Dementia research is underfunded

Dementia research is desperately underfunded. For every person living with dementia, the annual cost to the UK economy is over £30,000 and yet only £90 is spent on dementia research each year.

Alzheimer’s Society is committed to spending at least £150 million over the next decade on dementia research including a £50 million investment in the UK’s first dedicated Dementia Research Institute.

7. We can beat dementia through research

Alzheimer’s Society provides information and support, improves care, funds research, and creates lasting change for people affected by dementia. The charity is investing in research into dementia care, cause, cure and prevention of all types of dementia. Dementia devastates lives. The Alzheimer’s Society needs people to unite against dementia now. Whether you choose to donate, volunteer or campaign, every action makes a difference.

Visit alzheimers.org.uk to find out more about dementia and how you can help.

Find out more information about dementia support in Lymington and the New Forest